


Surprise! Aber Auf Deutsch

by Writing-Rammstein (writingfanfic)



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Birthday, Gen, Surprise Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 18:30:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13980894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingfanfic/pseuds/Writing-Rammstein
Summary: For the prompt: 'Could you write about reader and Paul teaming up to throw Schneider’s a surprise birthday party but in the end it doesn’t quite work out because someone accidentally (probably Richard) told him beforehand, please?'Sure can! Damn you, Reesh.





	Surprise! Aber Auf Deutsch

“What the fuck are you doing?”

You look up, and Till is standing in the doorway, looking absolutely baffled - you smile awkwardly.

“Little help?”

“What in the name of god is all this stuff?” He lumbers over and begins to untangle you from the banner, and you sigh. “Happy… birthday?” He pauses. “Wait, is that for Schneider?”

“It is! Paulie and I are arranging something for him-”

“Okay, so, I have the cake. We got the cake.” Paul appears in the doorway, and you smile at him as Till continues to untangle you. “What happened?” You try to shrug, which isn’t easy as you actually have part of the banner constricting blood flow to your armpit, and Till sighs.

“So anyway, we were going to arrange a surprise party, and we’ve sort of gathered that the 10th is a good day, because it’s the day before and it’s a Saturday,” you say, matter-of-factly, as Till pulls a pocketknife from his pocket and begins to cut you out. “No, no, please don’t, I just bought this…”

“Rich has already agreed, we have not asked Ollie so far, Flake…” Paul looks up from his notebook, and you snort at how adorable he looks in his beanie and scarf. He looks like a harried wedding organiser. “What did Flake say?”

“He sort of told us that birthdays are futile and time is meaningless but then agreed to bring Schnapps.” You shrug, and wriggle free. “Thanks, Till…” You shake yourself, and he looks at you, arms folded. “We haven’t been able to ask you yet because Schneider’s always…”

 _“…sind wirklich seltsam…_ ”

Till doesn’t even hesitate; he picks you up, arms full of the banners, and shoves you into the nearest locker, and slams it shut, whistling as he locks it. Through the gaps, you can see Christoph entering the room chatting to Ollie, and the drummer looks directly at you, brow furrowed.

“<What the fuck are you doing?>” he asks, smiling, and Till flips him off. “<Whatever.>” He walks towards the locker you’re in, and you hold your breath. “<Jesus Christ, is it just me or is everyone who drives in Berlin now a complete lunatic…?>”

“<I have my shit in there, get your own space, Schneider,>” Till grins, and Christoph rolls his eyes, turning away.

“<Is Flake showing today? At least you’re not in the fucking woods,>” he grins, and you shift slightly - the locker gives a loud clunk, and Paul kicks the locker instinctively as Christoph turns around, brow furrowed.

“<This one’s broken, Till, you idiot, but I closed it now,>” he says, and you hope to God that he’s better at planning parties than he is at lying. You knew you should’ve picked Flake to help you plan. “<Let’s go in…>”

“<Where’s (Y/N)?>” Christoph asks, and you hold your breath again. “<Normally she’s bobbing along behind Paul like a balloon, where’s she gone?>” Paul shrugs, and Christoph shakes his head. “<Shame, she brightens up my day. Because she’s not as ugly as you lot, and she argues with me less.>”

“<I’m sure she’s nearer than you think,>” Till says, and Paul stretches, ‘accidentally’ punching him in the face. “<Don’t make me hang you up from a peg like the child you are…>”

“Hey, _Arschgeigen_.  <I don’t want to be here at nine a.m.,>” Flake announces, emerging into the room, and you marvel at just how much they all swear when they speak German. “<Am I the last one?>”

“<No, we’re still waiting on the other dickhead.>” Till begins to guide everyone towards the door, and as he reaches it, turns around, and throws Flake the key. “<Can you get something out of my locker?>”

Flake catches the keys, nonplussed, and opens the door - when you fall out, he catches you, nearly screaming, and stares at you.

“Why the hell are you inside Till’s locker?!” he asks, and you shake your head. “…you are what he wanted me to get, right?”

“Yes, Flake. Now get me out of here before Schneider sees me,” you say, and shove the banners back into your bag.

“Absolutely no one has ever worked so hard for Schneider. Are you sure you do not like him?” Flake asks, grinning, and you elbow him. “Alright! Alright…”

* * *

“It’s going well.”

Paul looks back at you from the ladder, and you shrug.

“I think we could start an events management company.” You look around, and smile. “If not a little premature.”

“Would you rather be rushing to buy new banners in the morning or now?” Paul snarks, and you grin up at him, before steadying the ladder. “Does Schneider deserve this affection?”

“He’s your bandmate,” you grin, and there’s a knock on the door. “Ah, I think that’s gonna be Rich, he’s dropping off some booze for tomorrow… are you gonna be okay if I let go of this?”

“We will see!” he says, and you snort, turning away and opening the door.

Christoph smiles at you, and you slam the door shut in blind panic, before reopening it, a tiny bit. His smile is now a look of confusion and you beam at him a little too widely.

“Hey, Doom!” you say, chirpily, and he blinks, before smiling again.

“Hey, (Y/N). Didn’t expect to see you here. I just came here to see Paul. May I come in?” You shake your head, and you hear Paul swearing very quietly behind you.

“He’s… uh, ill.” Christoph is looking at you now, and you close your eyes. Why can’t you lie well?! “Sorry, he’s… he’s throwing up right now.” You shake your head. “He… uh… ate… something… bad. Like… off milk.”

Christoph is staring at you, and you honestly wonder if you can pass this off as a dream he’s having at a later date, or a very vivid hallucination; you smile, and shrug.

“Sorry, Doom, he’s just…” You shake your head. “I’m sure he’ll be okay tomorrow, maybe ring him later?”

“Are you alright?” he asks, and you nod fervently. “Okay. Well… I am coming around tomorrow, yes?” You smile, nodding again, and he tries to look past you - you hold the door shut.

“He’s been sick all over the place in here. Really gross. Don’t come in,” you say, apologetically, and hear Paul snickering in the distance. “Lovely to see you anyway, Doom, goodbye!”

You close the door and put your back to it, seeing Paul nearly fall off the ladder in hilarity.

“If I get any ‘Get Well Soon’ messages, I’ll laugh my ass off,” he snorts, and you shush him until you hear the gate at the end of the path shut. “You are extremely bad at lying.”

“Go fall off a ladder,” you mutter, and sigh.

* * *

“<Till, I can see the top of your head.>”

“< _It’s not my fault Paul bought a couch for pixies, is it?!_ >”

You march over and shove the top of his head down, and hear him wince.

“If Ollie can get behind there, so can you!” you say sharply, and hear Ollie’s muffled snickering. “You shut up, Riedel.”

“<They’re on their way!>” Paul says from his spot by the door. “Okay, Rich and Doom are here.” You grab one of the little handheld confetti-cannons from by the door and get ready to pull the string. “<Remember, everyone, shout ‘Surprise!’>”

“<In German or English?>” comes Flake’s voice from behind the floor lamp that you couldn’t stop him hiding behind, and you turn to him, thus completely missing when Paul opens the door, and Christoph and Richard appear.

“ _Surprise_!” you shout, and hear general yelling from around you, including Till pushing himself up awkwardly and stretching out his knee. Christoph smiles around - you notice that whilst he looks incredibly grateful, he does not look _surprised_ , and Richard looks incredibly sheepish.

“Oh my god, thank you all so much,” Christoph smiles, and you hug him. “It’s so sweet of you all to go to this effort, thank you…”

“I’m so sorry,” Richard mutters, and you grab him by the ear, leading him towards the corridor that leads to the kitchen. “Ow, ow, (Y/N), let go of my ear-”

“What did you _do_ , Rich?” you say, and he pulls away, rubbing his sore ear and sulking. “Did you crack? Did you tell him?” He nods, face red, and you push his shoulder. “You told him?! After all the work we were putting in?!”

“He was going to call an ambulance for Paul! He thought he had food poisoning and you were in denial.” You put your head in your hands. “I just said you had something you didn’t want him to see, and he put 2+2 together along with the fact you hid in a locker from him. He could see you through the slats, by the way. He just didn’t want to make a scene.”

“…oh. That was Till’s idea, I want you to know.”

“I’m sorry, but… he was delighted because he thought we all didn’t care.” Richard shook his head. “Look at him.” You look to the side, where Flake has solemnly placed a party hat onto a piece of cake and handed it to Christoph, and roll your eyes, but a smile crosses your face. “He’s happy. You did this.” He grins and hugs you. “Are you proud?”

“Yes,” you say, after a moment, and he nods, before reaching around the corner and shoving a bottle into your hands.

“Then let’s get wasted and give Schneider a good birthday!” he grins.


End file.
